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Shooting blanks
What is more dangerous than this gun? The air you breathe and Ross Kemp. This brilliant presentation shows how you can pack an awful lot more data, explanation and jokes into 5 minutes than most news...
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Magical pixie dust
The following are all real answers given in organisations in answer to the question: “How will we achieve our targets?” “Improvements in service delivery focussing on services which really matter to...
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Map versus Territory
The nice lady at work who is in charge of GIS (Geographical Information Mapping) was showing me a very clever piece of software that showed in 3D the borough with each ward’s height relative to an...
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How clean is my table?
The last post was about there being “no true value” of a measure, unless you define what you mean to measure, and that the way to know what you are supposed to be measuring is to define measure by...
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Punching above your weight
What would give you extra prowess in the meeting room? More bang for your buck? Data! But not just any data, made-up data. This is my secret. The best data is made-up. Pretend! Nobody ever has real...
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Averagely funny
This man has more than the average number of legs for an Australian… ..and so does this Australian have more than the average number of legs too. How is this? There are a very few Australians with no...
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Alchemy
There’s no such thing as alchemy. Despite that, I have been disappointing senior managers for years by failing to produce gold out of dross. Alchemy is still believed in, at the highest levels of...
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Where’s the data?
Hello Peter! Hello Jane! Do you know where the data is? Let’s go for look for it! Books! That’s a good idea! But not there Jane. Try again! Not in there! Not down there either! Where could it be? Is …...
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Come on feel the noize
If you’ve know anything about systems thinking and that, you know it’s chock full of counter intuitive truths. Here are some truths about one aspect of it all: when you “eyeball data” by looking at it...
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What is Tiny Data and why is it crucial?
We all know that Big Data is cack. “So if you don’t like Big Data, what’s your alternative then?”, I hear nobody cry. There’s all sorts of data, here’s some definitions I just made up. Definitions Big...
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Why scorecards are as dangerous as Michael Jackson’s personal doctor
Let me take you back to an experiment that took place in 1930s New York….. No matter how many times a child was presented to a doctor, there was a 50% chance that they would be prescibed a...
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Why targets are good
Targets are good. They work. Comparing this quarters performance with last quarters, is good. It works Benchmarking performance against a group of other organisations, is good. That works too. Calm...
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The house that looks like Hitler
Remember the house that looks like Hitler? Course you do, it’s a house that looks like Hitler. What’s to forget? There’s loads of things that look like faces. There is the tampon machine that just...
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What is Tiny Data and why is it crucial?
We all know that Big Data is cack. “So if you don’t like Big Data, what’s your alternative then?”, I hear nobody cry. There’s all sorts of data, here’s some definitions I just made up. Definitions Big...
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The house that looks like Hitler
Remember the house that looks like Hitler? Course you do, it’s a house that looks like Hitler. What’s to forget? There’s loads of things that look like faces. There is the tampon machine that just...
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How to be fooled by randomness
This is a roulette wheel. It is a machine for producing numbers between 0 and 36. Sometimes it produces a 7… Then sometimes it produces a 13… If a 7 is produced on one spin and a 13 on the … Continue...
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3 more things performance management GETS ALL WRONG
As Jay Z asserts, there is plenty wrong with performance management. And here’s 3 more! Name The reverse pantomime horse gambit What is it? An organisation decides to do something, writes down a group...
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I’ve had it with average and why you should too
Who’s the biggest out of these two guys? Is it the guy on the left? He’s barrel chested, bulky looking guy. Could be. But he’s kind of short. What about the guy on the right? He’s biggest cos he’s...
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How to be hopelessly untrendy
I got me some data! Done gone put it in a graph! Added meself a TRENDLINE! And me answer is THE TREND IS DOWNWARDS! This is what happens when people get data and have excel. They stick it in and press...
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The man who mistook his wife for an actual change in performance
There was once a man who mistook his wife for a hat. This is his wife. This is a hat. He thought Why did he think that? He had a brain injury. The injury affected the way his brain processed … Continue...
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